Ethiopia & adoption on my mind... again

by Liz

Oops, I did it again.... I read Melissa Faye Greene's "There's no me without you."

It started out innocently enough to fulfill my book club's book review obligation. A quick re-read accompanied with photos from our trip to adopt little Ru in July 2008. This will be a breeze. Right?

Well, except that its so heart-wrenching, compelling and packed with facts and beautiful description that I couldn't pay it the injustice of a breeze-through.

I hadn't read the book since way before we'd submitted our dossier to adopt from Ethiopia in 2007. Now, as I am (still) wrestling with writing her Lifebook, I was struck with the realization that, for our little girl, this is the closest thing I have to explaining how she ended up here in rural Ohio with us.

As I'm sorting this all out, our social work agency, Catholic Social Services of Miami Valley asked me to participate in their Adoption Fair as a representative adoptive parent. Sitting in that room surrounded by adoption agency tables... it was almost too much to bear and I'm pondering the leap again.

That book should come with a warning label... "those who read this book may just end up pushed off the adoption ledge!" Yes, I'm teetering...

One of my Favorite Souvenirs of Ethiopia

by Liz

Our stay in Ethiopia afforded us some travel time to the city of Awassa, a drive around the legendary Mercato in Addis and many trips around the hills and streets of Addis mainly from the viewpoint of our chauffered Landcruiser - (we're sad to say it was our gilded cage).

Still, we did manage to grab some time to gather some treasures to bring home for our little one's yearly celebration of her homeland - which we've yet to find a good name for. The best contender so far (and far better than "Gotcha Day" is the Amharic word "mels" which I found in Rebecca Haile's book "Held at a Distance." She defined it as "literally a homecoming." In the context of her story it applied to a party being thrown for newlyweds... that's the best I've found yet... let me know if you've come across anything better?


Our favorite souvenir is this painting of an angel- an iconic image referrencing the fresco artwork from the church at Gondar. We had admired similar paintings on the ceiling of a small shop in the Post Office Square and the owner offered to have his friend, the artist, make us our very own version. We picked it up a couple days later; custom made just for us!

Tribute to Toukoul Orphanage in Addis Ababa Ethiopia

by Liz & Dan

(For more photos click on our slide show at the top of the page)

A photo tribute to Ru's first home in Ad

dis Adaba Ethiopia and the nannies, nurses, staff and doctors who held her, calmed her fears, wiped her nose, rocked her to sleep and taught her that the world is not such a bad place. To a staff that held her in their arms and in their hearts (some even had photos in their wallets)... there were tears shed on both sides as Ru took her leave. We will be forever grateful for your kindness.

Writing the Story

-by Liz

A lifebook, adoption story, birth album - a great creative project no doubt... but oh, the pressure! We had dutifully uploaded all the photos from our trip to Ethiopia onto the Walmart site ... and each time I logged in the ads to "Create a Memory book" winked at me...

For months now I've been tweaking, retooling, noodling, wondering... whats the best way to tell the story to a toddler, a child, an adolescent?... what pictures would I most want to see if I was in her shoes, how would I tell a story with so much meaning and so little detail? What could I tell her about her homeland when I'd seen so little from the confines of our daily gilded cage of a commute to the Toukoul Orphanage?

In the end I settled on a poem I found on an adoption site (below), a brief narrative and a hope that the pictures we have will tell a thousand words. Ultimately the story will be hers to create and to tell. We titled it "Rukiya comes Home"


We didn't give you the gift of life,
but in our hearts we know,
the love we feel is deep and real,
as if it had been so.

For us to have each other
is like a dream come true.
No, we didn't give you the gift of life,
Life gave us the gift of you.

Take a look and tell me if you think its ready to print?
Click Here to view our Ethiopian Adoption Memory Book

Imported & Moved

by Liz

The silence is deafening right? Ok, maybe just to me, but its been months(?) since my last post. New parenthood, work, renovations and moving... we bit off a bit much! I just thought I'd post this photo that I'm quite fond of. Someone actually asked a friend of ours if "that's the box she came in?" I just hope they were kidding! So, now we're moved into our new castle just down the street from our old one (don't forget to update your address books!). Next step; baby-proofing; this gal can cruise!

We're back as three

by Liz


She's a peach. A total peach. We're so very lucky and so very in love. She just sparkles and you feel lucky to be in her presence.

Ethiopia gets in you. Its intoxicating, beautiful, perplexing, haunting and elusive. Something about it gets lost in translation and leaves you feeling a bit incomplete. I know we'll never get over it, but we'll definitely go back. The pictures don't describe it; they leave out the smell of the eucalyptus fires and the lilt of the traffic, livestock and prayer chants. Its modern and ancient, current and rustic, welcoming and disconcerting. Through our daughter we'll be forever related to it, but never truly a part of it; always ferenge (foreigners).

We are forever grateful to the people of the Toukoul Orphange, admins to nannies to guards who daily open their hearts for the children who live there. They are as happy and secure as you could hope. The grounds echo with the happy sounds of a summer camp; hardly a place of last resort.

The staff truly cares and there were tears when Ru left her nannies. We'll have to send more photos for their walls and wallets.

Nap time is ending... mama's gotta run!

Day of departure

(by dan)

up before the alarm!

I'm sure that does not surprise anyone? not even me and I'm a sleep junky.
A habit that I understand will end cold turkey with baby Ru's demands.

I wanted to leave enough time this morning to spoil my dog Lola as I understand she'll be taking a back seat for attention when we get back...

and she's responding very well to the bologna that I've decided to eat for breakfast. Should we eat the entire package?

Must load up now on coffee and get crackin! Selam!
See you soon grandma and grandpa!
xo dan and liz

back drops

(by dan)

I have in my wallet a very dog eared little piece of paper that I've been carrying around since Wednesday, April 23rd- it's the first picture of Ru we received with her referral.

I've been starring at it for 75 days and the little girl in the photo has been starring back. She looks a little unsure of what's going on and seems to be hesitant to respond to the photographer. She is not smiling but not unhappy either. Just a little dazed- like the way I've been feeling this past week with the upcoming trip.

She has very big eyes and short curly hair. Her right hand is open and resting on her tummy and her left hand is slightly curled under. Both feet are in white socks. She's wearing a purple onesy that has long sleeves with white trim. She is sitting in a baby seat that is on a tile floor. She looks somewhat like a sweet little grape.

We are looking foward to taking many smiling pictures this coming weekend to share with you!

On the wisdom of Widgets

(by Dan)

Dear reader, to our right, is a very clever little computer widget by Lilypie that as of yesterday said, "1 month and 1 day until Rukiya is home."

I've been using that gauge to keep myself on track for our trip and the impending responsabilities of fatherhood. It's working really well and I've got the one month jitters.

It's the official countdown to my Pooperbowl Championship! We've just got 2 more pictures of lil Ru and she's eating very well- and has had the appearance of a rather cranky little linebacker in the last 2 photo sessions. I am not sure if she's trying to tell me something? ("oh papa you are IN FOR IT NOW!") the pictures are very sweet and I will share them (plus ones where she is hopefully smiling) after we come back to the States.

This is something that I've heard about from other folks we've met who are adopting/have adopted -that everyone seems to get really stressed out about- "why isn't he/she smiling in the photos?" I have no idea- but I can't wait to make her smile. I've seen some funny videos of the first time the parents meet their child and... the child starts wailing the minute mama goes for the first grab! Guess what- I'm not bringing the video camera. I want to see it with my own eyes- not later on the Sony.

So back to my widget.

Yesterday Liz asked if I'd purchased the backup batteries for our digital camera yet- and I said "no not yet- but we've still got a month..."

And she said, "no we don't!" and I said "yes, it's right here on the computer, 1 month and 2 days!?" and she said, "yes, 1 month and 2 days UNTIL Rukiya is HOME, we're going to be there for 2 weeks remember? that means we're leaving here for Addis in about 2 and half weeks."

I had what we call a minor "come-a-part." Everything that has not been taken care of yet flashed before mine Irish eyes.

The battery was purchased this morning thanks in part to (INSERT FREE AD FOR POSSIBLE CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP HERE) Ebay and PayPal (an Ebay subsidiary)... Hopefully it will get here in 2 weeks, it's currently in Hong Kong. That's a long way for extra juice.

Other loose ends:

Biscuit gang member, Lola our dog, will be taken care of by the Hanson family, she will be so spoiled I don't really want to think about the consequences of our return: "Where's the chicken on the crunchies, Dude?"

Biscuit gang member, Sinclair St. Claire (aka Evil Kitty of Doom) will be in a lockdown situation at the Diamond Kennel in West Alexandria, Preble County. Fans of Doom can write to in-mate 009-99-22-DOOM. Any and all email may or may not be read or responded to. Doom reserves this right.

Other serious things you need to think about before going to pick up your little one:
1. "That annoying and catchy cough on the plane directly behind you" Your health insurance- is it ready for the new family member? "why did that A#&@*&@le get on the plane if he was so sick? Infect my baby! you A#&@*&@le!"

2. "Going down in a flaming blaze of glory somewhere over Dulles airport"
OH REALLY- you don't think it couldn't happen? God does have a sense of humor-
Your last will and testament- is it updated to include your new family member? Get that taken care of. It could happen.

3. "Oh my God! they went down in a flaming blaze of glory somewhere over Dulles airport!" says the Guardians/Godparents of your new family member! Make sure that you've made provisions with notaries- so that if this happens your child's legal guardians can go over and get him/her as quickly as possible and bring them back home.

Once you're legally approved as a parent, that kid is YOURS! make sure they're not caught in a legal limbo somewhere just cause you've "Gone down in a flaming blaze of glory somewhere over Dulles airport!"

Serious notes to end a post on for me- but all concerns to contend with.
Damn widget.

All my fears wrapped up in one sentence...

(by Dan)

Like many of you-

I have my favorite parts of movies- songs, poems, and for some of you- BOOKS EVEN! I do try to read books, occasionally- but... I guess I'm more of a magazine guy- or enjoyer of my own dreamscape at night... unless I've eaten too much pork and then I get my "porkchop nightmares..." which Liz claims might be from whatever I washed said porkchop(s) down with...

anyway...

I heard this one tonight from a movie called "OLD JOY" on the Sundance channel and it defined to me in movie words my own current set of fears and anxieties and the reason I've gone to bed the last 3 nights wearing my rubber mouth guard (the kind you get in 5th grade to avoid dental trauma in sports- or the kind you get as an adult that's "fitted" at the dentists office cause you grind your teeth that costs over $200 dollars- or the kind you still get if you're like me- at Walmart- the one from 5th grade- that only costs $3 dollars cause at 39 years old you're a bit price concious and paying for your own healthcare in America...)

So these two old friends are out camping- sitting around the campfire enjoying a couple beers- and the one guys says to the other- "So are you looking forward to fatherhood?"

and the other guys says "Well, yea man- definetly"

and the response: "Wow, you're really brave- I've never gotten myself into something I could not get myself out of!"

Parenthood anxieties defined for me at this moment!

I know these worries will change- evolve, etc.- Just like me- when I said oh- what 2 years ago? "I'm totally fine without having kids- not for me."

oh look out!

Just who is this "Biscuit Gang?"

(by Dan)




Our gang consists of 2 artists, one genius baby, a dog that skips and a very evil cat.

The genius baby has not arrived yet- we are adopting her from Ethiopia and going on an adventure to get her that starts on July 9th. Her name is Rukiya (Roo-kee-ya), or Ru for short. Ru will be 8 months old when we arrive in Addis Ababa. Stay tuned for more details about our new director of inspiration when we meet her.

Until then look for writing from me- her papa Dan Robertson that will be nervous in tone and at times highly exciteable or simply confused.

Actually that will probably be the way most of my writing usually sounds.

The other gang members: Liz Robertson- my wife. the other artist, (formerly known as a Stotler), who is also a graphic designer, writer, marketing guru, momma to be and believer in the good karma that floats around the universe that can occasionally be contained if you try hard enough to add to said karma. Also, she can also run with scissors.

The dog that skips is Lola. She's a rescue dog from Puerto Rico that is 8 years old. She's the original companion to our recently lost friend Otis the Chihuahua. (piss, vinegar, and foundly missed) Lola is very shy, screwy, dramatic and obsessive compulsive. When she's in a happy mood on a walk, she'll skip every 4th step.
She also looks a bit like Sandra Bullock.

Backing up Lola's timidness, and giving no quarter is our all black, slightly damaged cat Sinclair St. Claire. (aka Doom) He found Liz while relaxing on his deathbed under a bush downtown. He'd been hit by a car but couldn't be bothered to go to a vet. So we took him, "a cat, barely alive... Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology... he will be better than before, Better. Stronger. More evil." Doom spends much of his time pouncing on Lola, stalking Lola, and grooming Lola. He loves Lola.

We look forward to sharing with you!
ds

Getting ready for Rukiya!

(by Dan)


Monday, June 9th, 2008.

We are 30 days away from ground zero and I am now getting really nervous. My nervous tick nervous. Last week I was only pleasantly nervous in the way that's to be expected. That motivational kind of nervousness that allows me to watch my wife assemble the crib and feel a sense of accomplishment.

In one month we will going to Ethiopia to pick up our daughter Rukiya who will be 8 months old and is patiently waiting in her crib next to a picture of her future momma and papa. She is in the Toukul orphanage in Addis Ababa, being very well taken care of and will be a most welcome addition to the biscuit gang.

Things I am currently worrying about:
Not dropping my daughter
Changing her diapers, changing her diapers on a plane. Diaper rash.

Keeping her hands and feet clean if she puts them in her mouth. Sanitizing everything.

Will she be lactose intolerant? Projectile diarrhea and vomiting, from both of us.
Will she be teething? does the cherry flavored teething medicine taste better than the berry flavored teething medicine I bought at CVS?

What's the difference between a digital thermometer for $7.99 and $49.99? Won't she going to be equally annoyed with me when I put a thermometer under her tongue versus in her ear?

Does the "Diaper Dude" bag my wife got me really look like a messenger bag?
Should I have gotten the camo pattern instead of the orange one?

Things I was previously worried about that are now on the back burner:
Achieving whiter teeth, My side burns. Getting sunburn. Gristle and lint.